Are you Living or Waiting?


while I was having my tea, this came up, and I thought I’d share.

… what I noticed or *saw* was how I’ve never actually *lived* right now.

I’ve become able to be fully aware & present in the right now, but there was always an undertone and overtone of waiting … and of temporary.

waiting for what I was trained to wait for when I was little.

waiting for approval. waiting for validation. waiting for something better. waiting for a reward. waiting for love. waiting for success. waiting for better.

and that this is temporary.

of course everything is temporary, life is temporary whether we live 20 years or 106.

every moment of every day is temporary.

yet at the same time, sitting here I realized that to release waiting & start living is a new layer of awareness, consciousness, mindfulness, connectedness with spirit. connectedness with my highest self. connectedness with “life” so to speak.

and with that, replacing waiting with actually living, then comes the replacement of temporary with permanent.

the feeling of permanence is totally different and new.

of course, as we know, nothing is permanent. yet if we live with permanence, if we start living in permanence and release “waiting & temporary”, it is a completely different internal feeling, completely different internal vantage point, completely different way of holding your body and your cells.

very interesting. and brand new. I’ll be curious to see what this new journey does and where it takes me.

how do you feel about this?

do you notice you are living? or waiting?

waiting to get healthy?

waiting for this virus to end?

waiting for start a forever exercise habit?

waiting for someone else to do something before you do?