Ep 6: How you do 1 thing is how you do everything

Let's talk a little bit about how you do one thing in life is generally how you do all things in (0:07) life. Have you thought about that? Have you heard that? Have you noticed that? How you do one thing (0:14) in life is generally how you do all things in life. We all have patterns and habits that serve (0:18) us.

We also all have habits and patterns that no longer serve us, whether we're aware of them (0:24) or whether they're super ingrained in us so it's just autopilot. (0:28) But you can also notice how oftentimes one healthy choice, even tiny healthy choice, (0:34) can have the ripple effect in your whole day. Like you actually get to the gym and then you notice (0:41) you made a different choice of grab and go food for the car, right? This doesn't have to be (0:46) the case or it might not be true for you but often how you do one thing in life is how you do all (0:54) things in life.

So I'm going to give a few examples just so we can feel into this a little (1:00) bit more today. Stress eating as the first example. So let's just run a little mini day scenario.

You (1:08) wake up stressed out over whatever, right? You can name a topic. You can say a meeting. You can say (1:15) whatever, right? You wake up stressed out over blank.

You're hurried out the door as a big stress (1:21) ball. Traffic stresses you out even more. You get to work.

Stuff is nuts and you've almost reached (1:26) your limits with traffic already. School calls and you have to pick up a sick kid or yet another (1:32) email came in that needs immediate attention right as you were leaving. Traffic sucks even worse (1:38) going home.

The house feels like a train wreck. You snap at your husband or wife when you don't (1:43) mean to and suddenly the day's over and you wake up, so to speak, while you're on the couch halfway (1:51) through a jar of Nutella, right? Another example is do you clean your house a little bit every day, (2:01) like 10 minutes every day, or do you clean your whole house on Sunday? Because this can often (2:08) also parallel your life. Like mindful, gentle, small step cleaning or binge cleaning.

 (2:16) If that, if you can feel into that. Another example is with emotions. So two clients separately told me (2:24) they notice huge waves of emotions with the same certain TV show, right? One of them said, (2:31) these kind of shows help me face and bring up some feelings and then I share them with my (2:36) partner and it feels cathartic and like a release.

The other client said it put her in a loop of when (2:44) her parents aren't any longer around and those multiple layers of guilt and what ifs and shoulds, (2:50) right? And first of all, it's okay to watch any TV show you want. It's okay. Any TV show you choose, (2:56) you can watch.

And if you aim to give yourself a little bit of internal time every day and then a (3:05) little bit more internal time and it keeps going into a day of internal time where you're really (3:10) paying attention to yourself and connected with yourself whether you're having a full work day or (3:15) not. You don't need to face certain emotions and feelings, right? You can let the feelings come up (3:24) in real time to move through you and release and progress little bits every day and not end up in (3:31) a big rabbit hole binge facing your emotions or even binge sharing those faced emotions. (3:38) We've all known that space really well, right? Particularly females.

When we're on tilt and one (3:45) emotion spills over and then it's all the feelings about everything ever, right? Yes, cathartic can (3:51) feel good and these can be important cathartic releases in everyone's life. And if you wake up (4:00) stressed, it doesn't have to be a snowball and end up in eating the whole pack of cookies, (4:05) right? You don't have to face all of your emotions at once because a TV show brings it out for you. (4:12) You don't have to binge clean on Sundays, right? It's all about the balance.

It's not wrong if you (4:19) decide you want to binge clean or only face your emotions with a TV show. It's just going to be (4:24) choosing to live in that kind of cattywampus feeling imbalance, right? If you wake up stressed, (4:31) it doesn't have to snowball and end up in eating the whole pack of cookies. Wake up in the morning (4:36) and right then notice your stress.

Notice the stress. Pause. You can still have your head (4:44) on the pillow.

Breathe. Tell yourself it's okay, right? Tell yourself it's okay. Well, (4:51) I don't want to feel stressed when I wake up.

Okay, of course you don't want to feel stressed (4:54) when you wake up. It's okay that you do feel stressed when you wake up. Why? Because you did.

 (5:00) You feel stressed. It has to be okay because that's where you are. So soften and instead (5:05) of resisting feeling the stress, soften and hold your heart and say, I love myself.

I will love (5:12) myself some more. Tell yourself it's okay. Remember to take the apple and the raw almonds in the car (5:19) or to rehearsal, right? A different snack that will support you.

Gently bring yourself to the car. (5:25) That kind of mindfulness and a moment of simply checking in with yourself can lead to taking (5:32) maybe a different driving route that's more scenic and runs less stress, right? Maybe taking (5:39) a pause when you enter work and you can sort of sense that it's crazy and keep your own grounding. (5:46) Does this land? Does this resonate for you? We'll keep talking about this again.

Feel free to message (5:52) me, email me. I love talking and walking through this stuff with anyone and I will hear you here (6:00) again in the next episode.